Matt’s Poetry Hopslam: Bell’s Brewery – Hopslam

Beer: Hopslam
Brewery: Bell’s Brewery
Beer Type: DIPA

For one of my favorite beers, and one that is named so similarly to
the rest of my content, I tried to bust out my first Ode to an Ale.
It’s kind of more of an Ode about an Ale… haha. Let me know what you think.

One cold and sunny winter day
Tim left his house, smile on his face.
He started out along the way
Towards the pub, his favorite place.

And why was he so full of cheer?
This was no normal afternoon.
The yearly time for a top beer
Had finally come, none too soon.

“Hoppy and floral, smooth and sweet”
Tim said aloud, “And plus because,
it packs a punch that’s hard to beat
at 10 percent, here comes a buzz.”

He walked into the crowded bar,
Full of drunken faces glowing.
Spotting the barkeep from afar
He set off, excitement growing.

His order only got to “one…”
And then was cut off with a shout.
“No need to say, but sorry son,
My only keg has just run out.”

“But, how? Oh no. This isn’t fair”
Tim was confused and filled with pain.
“No one loves beer with as much care.
My whole day has gone down the drain.”

Defeated, he then turned to leave.
A single tear escaped his eye.
Just wanting to go home to grieve,
He left without a single “bye.”

As he paced slowly down the street,
Head hung low and with slumped shoulders,
The only things he saw were feet,
Not the bright green God sent boulders.

Those falling items made no sense.
Brewing flowers, way oversized.
Unluckily, they were quite dense.
They crashed and Tim was pulverized.

Alarmed by the loud booming sound
All the bar patrons rushed outside.
And found Tim covered on the ground,
Nothing to see but limbs spread wide.

Questions rang out of “How?” and “Why?”
Then someone said “Well I’ll be damned,
What an ironic way to die,
Tim was literally Hopslammed.”

-Namaste, Matt

Rainbow photo credit: Bell’s Brewery

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